Hello friends, today’s post is brought to you via my mother’s frustration and quotes such as, “Arin. This cover just has thorns on it. What am I supposed to do with this?” and “Dozer*, help me figure out what this book is about.”
Anyways, does anyone else remember those booktube videos from a while back where people would have their families look at YA book covers and try and get them to guess what it was about? Well, this weekend while I was home from school, I decided to attempt that with my mom because I really wanted to see what she came up with. The results are below, and they are simultaneously better and worse than I thought they would be. My mom evidently has a thing for orphans getting happy endings.
*Our beloved dog, pictured here observing this blog post being written and wanting to know why my bed is covered with more books than normal.
I. Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare
What I told her going in: the book is urban fantasy, then what urban fantasy is because she had no idea.
My mom’s summary: A girl (or a mermaid, could be either) slays under water sea monsters with her sword (with her special invisible scuba gear), for fun.
What the book is actually about: Shadowhunters doing shadowhunting things, this time in LA. Also now featuring more faeries and bigoted laws. Actual summary can be found here.
II. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
What I told her going in: Set in the same world as the previous book.
My mom’s summary: This story follows Sawyer, a business man by daytime and a demon angel slayer by night. (That’s why he has suit on with his sword over his side, he forgot to change out of his day clothes).
What the book is actually about: Shadowhunters doing shadowhunter things, this time in London during the nineteenth century. Featuring one of the loves of my life, Charlotte Fairchild. Actual summary can be found here.
III. A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer
What I told her going in: The genre is fantasy.
My mom’s summary: An angry rose bush traps its lonely prey, but only at nighttime and only because it doesn’t want the people to be lonely anymore.
What the book is actually about: A beauty and the beast retelling, featuring an angsty prince, a fake princess, and an scary guardsman. Actual summary can be found here.
IV. Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
What I told her going in: The genre is science fiction, it takes place in the future in outer space.
My mom’s summary: A fire raved village that has been set on fire again. This time the fire was set to get rid of the libraries and the books because the people who started the fire don’t like books.
What the book is actually about: A lot of things? Hacker geniuses, crazy AIs, badass female characters, deadly plagues, etc. Actual summary can be found here.
V. The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
What I told her going in: The genre is urban fantasy.
My mom’s summary: A story of three children taking their pet dragon out on an adventure to a sacred battle ground where the dragon turns evil because he is bitten by a bug. They don’t make it home, its not a feel good book.
What the book is actually about: Three demigods trying to rescue Hera because she is messing with people’s lives, again. Actual summary can be found here.
VI. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
What I told her going in: The genre is fantasy, the tag line on the cover, “six dangerous outcasts, one impossible heist.”
My mom’s summary: A evil crow goes on a mission to steal all of the windows out of the buildings in this abandoned town take them back to the orphans. The orphans need the windows because their houses are holey.
What the book is actually about: A ragtag group of thieves try and break into government building and capture my heart along the way. Actual summary can be found here.
VII. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
What I told her going in: I don’t think I told her anything? She got super excited when she saw the cover so I was letting her run with it.
My mom’s summary: The main character is a coroner that contracts a disease from one of the dead bodies that gives her the ability to look into peoples souls with her piecing eyes and shatter their emotions, which destroys their lives.
What the book is actually about: Um, please don’t ask me to summarize. Just read the real one here.
VIII. A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab
What I told her going in: The genre is fantasy, that the guy was wearing a coat and not a dramatic cape.
My mom’s summary: A mischievous magician who has a magical coat that allows him to jump from one city to another and his evil plot is to steal all of the candy from the evil black city and take it to the bright and cheery red city to give to the orphans.
What the book is actually about: Magic? Parallel Londons? Please just read the real summary here.
IX. The Selection by Kiera Cass
What I told her going in: The story actually is a romance, set in the future.
My mom’s summary: A story about 35 girls who are in a competition to win the favor of the handsome prince, but on the day of the competition they all show up wearing the same dress except for one, who wins his heart. They live happily ever after in some “off the wall country in Europe.”
What the book is actually about: …I’m actually shook about how accurate that was. Anyways, real summary here.
X. The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater
What I told her going in: This book takes place in the Shenandoah valley in Virginia (where we live, which is the only reason I told her).
My mom’s summary: The story is about a group of boys that were attacked by ravens and contracted a horrible disease that the evil scientist had created in his laboratory. the boys then have to fight the Frankenstein in the birds wings in order to receive the cure, but they are forever known as the raven boys. Please note, this all takes place in Swannanoa**.
What the book is actually about: A group of private school boys and a psychic’s daughter go searching for a dead Welsh king. Real summary can be found here.
**A super old, super fancy mansion in the valley where you can pay to go and walk around and pay even more to take wedding pictures. Looks like the perfect place for birds to attack teenage boys and give them diseases, right?
Well, this was a fun experiment. Stay tuned next Friday for more very inaccurate YA book plots, this time brought to you by my entire family.
Would you guys read any of these books if they really were about what my mom thought? Let’s chat in the comments!